I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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