We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
