A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
