Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
