I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
