While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
