My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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