at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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