I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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