The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
When are your genitals available?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
