she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
