I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize