we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
