I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
