I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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