Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
