So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize