had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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