We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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