all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
