If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
