I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I didn't notice because vodka
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
