So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm always down for nudity.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
