He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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