like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
