They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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