Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
