It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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