did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
