I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
