My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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