you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
