I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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