So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
