so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So vagazzling was a success
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
