Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You're like the curious george of whores
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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