the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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