i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
