Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
