just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
