he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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