I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
