so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
