I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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