i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
