I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
