I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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