ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
