dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
