I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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